[A
Monday / Wednesday / Friday Devotional Feature of the First Road Blog]
The Apostle Paul wrote: “Woe is me! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death.” We read that heart-cry
much too casually, especially if we be of the sort who are heard to say, “I never had
that problem.” So, I took to keyboard and screen to unveil a look at the
soul-depth darkness some of your friends (Christians or not yet) feel in the “Woe is me” moments. The description here
is unresolved. Some of us know what Paul said next, but because we do not pause
to consider the darkness, we sometimes do not think really hard about the
moment when the Lighthouse sends its beam through the gloom.
When
the inscrutable mist drifts in along the ragged shoreline of life,
It
cannot be blown away with a whistled little tune.
As
you tell me I'm self obsessed
And
need to look to the Lighthouse for my harbor,
You
cannot understand why it should be so hard.
You
need hear the breeze in the chilling gloom,
As
it whispers my unworthiness
In
the Lighthouse Keeper’s eyes,
And
tells me he is right to let the lamp go dark.
"Other
vessels he will guide," the cold waves chant.
"Not
yours."
Images
of failure, rejection, incompetence;
Realities
of rebellion, anger;
And
other still present habits of the flesh
Justly
mock my efforts to look up,
And
surround me with a chaotic silence
Abetted
by memories of accusing voices and pointed fingers.
Love,
joy, peace, and other fruit of the Father’s smile:
–
Buoys of hope –
–
signs of the Keeper’s good life in me –
– Testimonies of growth in likeness to his Son
–
Drift
by as fantasies
Vaguely
floating in the brine.
No
comfort to my destitution
Which
will not let me excuse myself
With
that well-worn cliché of lingering self-righteousness:
“I
can’t believe I did that.”
”hhcomings 2015
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