A Must-Have Book If You Talk With People About Problems

It took me awhile to overcome an antipathy to counseling. I envisioned it as a full-time profession which would compete with pastoral ministry. I also thought of it as Christianized secular psychology. And, honestly, I wanted to think all problems would be resolved by preaching, thus eliminating face-to-face guidance. Once I analyzed Jesus' ministry and understood that making disciples was a lifestyle of counsel, I was able to adjust my thinking to the biblical model for both preaching and shepherding.

To help along the way was the annual Biblical Counseling Seminar at Faith Baptist Church in Lafayette, IN. There I learned more adequately to interface biblical theology with biblical ministry. This program gives tools for listening, guiding and coaching others (and oneself) through the process of growth in Christlikeness in the arena of real life struggles. It does so with a humble yet driven spirit and offers the resources of many men and women successfully involved in various counseling formats in local churches. While it focuses on person-to-person interaction, the training enhances the pulpit ministry by forwarding the biblical role of expository preaching in its confrontational and coming-alongside roles.

The reason I say all of this is to recommend for your consideration John MacArthur’s anthology on Counseling:How to Counsel Biblically. Part of the “John MacArthur Pastor’s Library” series published by a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers, this book is excellent for those who cannot attend a training seminar such as the one in Lafayette. On the other hand it is a magnificent review resource for any who have been to such a seminar. Contributors such as David Powlison, Robert Smith and the late William Goode are or have been heavily involved in the Lafayette ministry.

A significant contributor, Dr. Wayne A. Mack, has an impressive resume in both pastoral and counseling categories, having studied under Dr. Jay Adams at Westminster Theological Seminary. He also was responsible for developing and supervising the Master of Arts in BiblicalCounseling department of The Masters College in Santa Clarita, CA.

The authors take sharp aim against the quasi-Christian formats of secular psychology wearing a mask of biblical vocabulary; but their effort is more constructive than polemic. They help the reader see what biblical counseling can look like in the home, in the church and on the tennis court. (Well, maybe not the tennis court.) It is an important read for any serious disciple of Jesus Christ.  

Best Friends, Worst Enemies by Thompson, Grace, Cohen and Barker

Typically, Michael Thompson (Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children), does a superb job providing real-life sketches of children in today’s culture. He is, in my opinion, an authentic source of insights into how kids think and what they are up to. Although he approaches his subject with a non-biblical paradigm, I strongly recommend him for a presentation of raw data which Christian’s often lack because of non-involvement or an extra-biblical naiveté. We will rightly disagree with some of his and his co-authors’ interpretations and conclusions; but we can profit greatly from their observations of children in contexts where we have not walked.

The particular strengths of this book are in five categories.

First, the exposure of the life of the socially marginalized child and the forces which marginalize him or her. Anyone who is seriously concerned about bullying ought to read the sections which present this issue in scenarios ranging from kindergarten taunting to collegiate hazing and beyond. What the reader will find especially amazing are Mr. Thompson’s discoveries as to why both children and adults justify such practices.

Second, the discussions concerning the development of friendships are enlightening.  In fact, I believe Michael Thompson, Catherine O’Neill Grace, Lawrence Cohen and Teresa Barker do an excellent, although unintentional, favor for any Bible student who wants to seriously pursue the dynamic of Philos (filov) love. I would strongly recommend that a student read C. S. Lewis’ section on Philos in The Four Loves both before and after reading Best Friends, Worst Enemies.

The drama of group dynamics is the third selling point for this book. Anyone working with groups of children or youths should inform themselves with the observations which unfold in Best Friends, Worst Enemies. The book provides valuable service in distinguishing between “normal” and serious relationship issues and challenges the reader to learn how to help young people negotiate those turbulent and adventuresome seas. It also sharpens awareness concerning the significant and unavoidable role of peer pressure in the lives of children and adults.

The fourth benefit of Best Friends, Worst Enemies lies in its appeal to and encouragement of parents. Again, although Thompson, Grace, Cohen and Barker do not come at the subject with a deliberate nod to biblical principles, they show a remarkable amount of God-given common grace in their ability to analyze cause-effect patterns and offer explainable solutions.

Finally, the effort of the authors to challenge educators to develop “moral schools” is a strength built on a weakness. That weakness has to do with the dilemma of trying to think “morally” in a secular context with no clearly defined moral base. Largely, Thompson, Grace, Cohen and Barker lean toward a conservative consensus. However, there is an unaddressed paradox as they accept the ambiguous paradigm of orientation. The value of their struggle lies in the way it surfaces ethical questions we ourselves may not have thought about as biblically as we should. We will, of course, disagree with some things they accept morally; but are we willing to challenge ourselves to develop a well-thought-out, gospel-driven ethic with regard to what we cannot accept?

Again, I highly favor adding this book, along with Thompson’s other book, Raising Cain, as a worthy read for anyone who is serious about representing Christ through an informed ministry to the next generation.

Book Review: "Soul Physicians"

After too long a hiatus, I pulled my copy of Robert Kellemen’s, Soul Physicians, from the shelf. It was almost as rewarding a moment as when I first discovered it at the Counseling Conference in Lafayette, Indiana. Just scanning some of the chapters, with an occasional pause at a paragraph or an underlined sentence, brought back a refreshing flood of thought.

Soul Physicians (A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction) is a magnificent study of the dynamics of relationships living, moving and having their being in the atmosphere of who God is and what is unfolding in the universe he has created and Satan has defiled.

It is a book of applied theology disguised as a text book on counseling. It is doctrine unfolded in narrative. It brings the truths of the Trinity and the created cosmos into a dramatic, vibrant focus which lets them live and breathe in our thinking on Monday.  It opens biblical ways to make ourselves available to the Holy Spirit to be a part of the process of drawing the Father’s love gifts to His Son. It is the necessary corollary to confrontational counseling (nouthetic - for those who know the term). By that I mean, it is comfort, counsel, coaching and encouragement (parakletic) unpacked in story and repackaged in practical memory aids.

In describing “Soul Anatomy,” Dr. Kellemen uses fresh, living terms to describe a human being.

• Relational – designed to be romancers loving passionately (affections)
• Rational – designed to be dreamers thinking wisely (mindsets)
• Volitional – designed to be creators choosing courageously (purposes)
• Emotional – designed to be singers experiencing deeply (moods)  
• Physical – designed to be actors living fully (habits and tendencies)

This book played a major role in redirecting my preaching in the last years behind the pulpit. It gave me sub-categories on such doctrines as depravity which realigned them from hammers to tools. It also helped me dare to approach counseling creatively and risk making mistakes for the sake of learning and having a positive impact on the lives of those God was calling to himself. I should not have tucked it away in the transitional years, for it also gave me living perspectives on dealing with my worst counselee – myself.

I must, however, point out one feature which may frighten you. The book is big, and it is packed with so many thoughts that it does not lend itself well to being simply “read through.” Vocabulary may also be an issue from time to time. It is not that he uses technical terms, like a medical doctor. He uses vigorous and relational terms which are not necessarily part of our working vocabulary.

In my first reading of the book, and now that I have picked it up again, my approach is to take a chapter a week. If you want you can memorize the helpful outlines Dr.Kellemen gives. Or, you can be content to expose yourself to the material and let it seep into your thinking as you mull over a concept on your way to work. In any case, and in spite of the size of the book and the depth of the material, I suspect by now you understand that I highly recommend that you at least let yourself be exposed to it.

In Dr. Kellemen's own words:  It is my dream to passionately present a spiritual theology of life that re-ignites your first love for Christ, empowers you to relate God's truth to human relationships, and equips you to become soul physicians who dispense Christ's grace.  ("Soul Physicians" p. 8)