Self-Control and the Trust of Friendship

I am not sure I have honed in well enough on the relationship of friendship-trust and self-control. Remember, self control comes into play in two contexts. First – worship. Second – love for others.

Those two contexts correspond to Christ’s two commands. First – love for God. This has to do with issues of absolute self-denial - those matters of self-will which have to do with maintaining and advancing our own kingdom as opposed to representing God's Kingdom well. Second – love for neighbor and, especially, love for our brother and sister in Christ. This includes the areas of absolute self-denial and also includes acceptable things which may need to be set aside and unpleasant things which may need to be accepted for the well being of someone else.

This love for neighbor and brother is the Christian category of philos (friendship) love; and that philos love recognizes the vulnerability someone faces as he or she is confronted with our offer of friendship. Without saying so, they are counting on us to practice self control in our own lives so as to provide confidence in the six areas we have covered.

I Believe You will Not Hurt Me Unnecessarily
I Believe You will Not Own Me
I Believe You Will Not Mislead Me
I Believe You will Not Violate Me
I Understand Some May Reject Me Because of You
I Hope You will Never Walk Away

By now I hope we catch the idea that self control is not simply about my personal freedoms and convictions. Biblical self control does not happen in a vacuum. It happens in a context of relationship both to God and our neighbor/brother. Knowing what a potential friend faces in entering our circle of friendships requires that we look at the new mindset which we must allow God's Spirit to develop. 

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